out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
