I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
