he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
