Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
