He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
