Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
