He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
