She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
