im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
