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She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
