Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
