i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
