dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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