Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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