When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
