true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
