Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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