i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
