i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
