Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
