The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
