Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
