i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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