We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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