I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
