He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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