Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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