1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Randomize
