she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
