i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
