Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
