So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
