STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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