We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
