recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
