i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
