I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
