We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
