We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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