She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
