Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
