All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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