Your tits are I can't wait for
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
