I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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