It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
