You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
