Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
