she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
