okay pat passed out under dana's car
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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