Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
